Wednesday October 21, 2009
For those of you who know me (and why wouldn't you? Would you be reading this otherwise?), I've made this point clear before, but just to be safe, I'll put it in writing.
I despise "reality" television.
It encourages, promotes and rewards the absolute worst in people, and to quote Bill Hicks, it makes the rest of us deal with "these fevered egos that are tainting our collective consciousness and making us pay a higher psychic price than we ever dreamed imaginable."
Those of you who defend "reality" television or list it as just a guilty pleasure allow me to retort:
Fuck you and shame on you. Seriously, shame on you.
For example, I came across this tidbit today (I'm a huge NBA fan so this is the only reason this showed up on my radar):
"Initially, Khloe’s lawyers were saying that if her and Lamar divorced, she wanted $500,000 a year for every year they were married, a new $6 million house, a brand new luxury car, $25,000 a month in general support, $5,000 a month for shopping and beauty - and courtside Lakers tickets for everyone in her family."
I'm sorry, but where do you get the fucking BALLS to ask for that? In what alternate universe does that sense of entitlement come from? Let's recap for a second to see if I've got this straight:
Khloe Kardashian is "famous" for being the sister of a woman who released a sex tape with RnB star Brandy's untalented brother and being the daughter of an unscrupulous lawyer most known for helping a retired NFL running back beat a murder rap.
Does that about cover it? That I even know your name is a travesty. What discernible talent do you have again that would warrant interest from the populace at large? What particular skill do you have that has enriched the human condition? Have I been fucking asleep for 10 years in the time that you so changed society for the better that you deem yourself worthy of the above mentioned demands? Has the whole world gone crazy?
These type of scandals used to END careers in Hollywood, not launch them. And this is just the most recent example today.
Here's the deal: I'm an actor and filmmaker. I was lucky (or unlucky if you look at it another way) to be born with a certain talent as a storyteller. I did not choose this gift but I did choose to use this gift. This is the life I chose for myself. It has brought me untold hardship in an industry that offers very little in the way of guarantees. It's cost me friends. It probably cost me a woman who would have been my wife. It destroys good people and kills great ones. But I'm not complaining. I'm compelled to use this gift because it would be a shame to not do so.
If I added up all the time, money and effort I've spent pursuing this career, it would not even approach minimum wage. Seriously, if I had started working at McDonald's at the same age, I would have more money than I have now.
So when I see other actors, writers and performers, all good friends of mine, talk about "reality" television programs they watch, it infuriates me.
Do you not realize, friend, that these people who are the scum of the earth are having the career that should be rightfully yours?
Do you not realize that these people, the absolute worst of us, the petty, vain, insipid, willing to do anything for attention whores, are living the life that should be yours?
Do you not realize that we used to celebrate people with talent, like you friend, instead of the type of person that would involve their children in a nationwide hoax to get their own television show?
Do you not realize that "reality" television is just really unscripted, non-union product that networks pay a pittance for yet reap massive amounts of profit from which effectively prevents you from achieving your goals in this field? And you're willingly participating in your own unemployment by viewing and discussing these fake dramas centered around the truly worst individuals that society has to offer?
Do you think we are better off as a society now that the Number 1 show on television isn't M*A*S*H but a fucking televised national karaoke contest? Do you think this is a better environment for your career?
I once did the math a few years ago and determined that for every hour of "reality" programming, I was probably out maybe a dozen guest star/co-stars and at least one staff writing job that season. I might not have gotten the job but there at least would have been a job to apply/audition for in that time slot.
I mean, why pay me market value for my skills when you can simply NOT pay an untalented person who is willing to do anything on camera? And if one of those poor, misguided souls happens to end up in a suitcase in a trash can with no fingers and no teeth, so be it. And if you think that was just a coincidence a sociopath ended up on a "reality" show, please don't Bogart that joint.
You might say I'm being too harsh. You could say that since I have a vested interest in this career field that I'm simply frustrated by the new business model. Hell, you could say that I'm simply jealous of these other people's success; that I'm a "hater" who is just mad that I didn't think to suck a dick on tape and release it before they did it.
Perhaps you are right. But know this.....
That Bill Hicks quote above was in reference to Billy Ray Cyrus. Now remember that his underage daughter already has leaked "sexy" pictures from her cell phone and her most recent television performance featured her exiting a trailer home and then dancing on a stripper pole. The best I can say about that is at least Hannah Montana is a fucking scripted show.
But Billy Ray's was not. Sigh.
This is the behavior you are rewarding by continuing to support this business model. These are the awful human beings you are placing on a pedestal simply because they don't have the self-respect to achieve success on the merits of their own talent and/or hard work. This is the bullshit information that is taking up space in my brain (and yours) rather than something that might actually make me a better and more useful human being.
So, the next time I hear a fellow actor, writer or filmmaker complain about there being no work, no place for them to make a living using their God given talent that they've poured countless hours and dollars in to crafting, I'm going to ask that person what they watched last night.
And if the words "America", "Next" or any combination of last names that is not "Seinfeld" comes out of their mouth, I'm gonna punch them right in the baby makin' parts.
Shame on you.
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Comments
I’m with you, Buddy. But you feed the machine by writing another article about her. She clearly falls into the “any publicity is good publicity camp.”
No way out.
— Tom Christensen · Wednesday October 21, 2009 · #
Tom,
Agreed. That is why you will notice there were no links/hyperlinks or tags in this post.
I shan’t be feeding anyone’s Google alerts.
BOC
— BOC · Wednesday October 21, 2009 · #
Standing Ovation
— Charlie · Wednesday October 21, 2009 · #
amen, brother!
— Faryl · Wednesday October 21, 2009 · #
There is not a word you wrote here that I do not wish I wrote myself. Bravo.
— Mike · Wednesday October 21, 2009 · #
This is why I unplugged my TV and put it in my closet.
— nik · Wednesday October 21, 2009 · #
Awesome. Awesome. Did I say awesome? Cause really, Awesome!
— Johnny · Wednesday October 21, 2009 · #
In January of 09 I weighed 470 lbs. I have had numerous arguments with my mother because she watches “The Biggest Loser” regularly and she had this idea that getting me on the show would be just the thing for me. Let me be clear about this ok. I HATE THIS SHOW. I think that it exploits fat people. I think it’s great that these folks are able to … Read Moreimprove the quality of their lives through the motivation they receive on this series. But what I see more than anything else is a network that wants to use fat people and their struggles to draw viewers and capitalize on the current reality tv fad. Today I weigh 358 lbs. I’ve lost 112 lbs in just over 9 months because I finally started to realize that while Jillian might be a great motivator, real motivation comes from within. I’m not sharing this story to brag on my own accomplishments. I’m sharing it because I wish I could tell every overweight person in America that while you’re all sitting on your asses in the living room eating popcorn and drinking soda every week watching this crap, I’m at the gym actually doing it. Don’t live your lives vicariously folks. Use your brain for a change and stop being such drama junkies.
— Chris Holt · Thursday October 22, 2009 · #
I can’t agree more. Living in this town I felt so alone about my opinions on reality television. But now we can form a resistance and overthrow the system. If we’re lucky, it’ll be a drug induced scenario and much like the movie TRON (The old one. The new one looks bad ass but who’s seen it?).
— Reggie · Thursday October 22, 2009 · #
I agree whole heartedly with every word and sentiment you’ve expressed. I would like to add my spice to the stew.
I’m in the middle of reading Helter Skelter, the book about Manson and the murders instigated by him. It all came from a cultural mind set of “defeating the establishment at any cost”. Now I’m not saying I support Nixonian cultural, but you have to see that the ‘do what you feel’ attitude of the Baby Boomer logically led to the worst kind of amoral behavior.
Ah, you’ve caught up with me: the JACK ASS behavior of reality show contestants is taught to the culture at large and they behave as taught. It’s no surprise it’s mostly the Babies of the Baby Boomers who are predominately Generation Jackass.
Stories, since the time of the Euripides, have meant to teach, shape, inform, mold. We are taught behaviors have consequences in the great tragedies. We are taught love and kindness will show the way in a good comedy.
What are we taught in a reality show? Be an asshole and you become rich and famous. Is it any wonder the Baby Boomer Babies, their faces festooned with piercings, have created something so incredibly assholish like Critical Mass, a bicycle mob who ignore the rules of the road, asserting their low grade personal terrorism, and wake the children of the neighborhood. They’re acting out a reality show.
— Kurt · Thursday October 22, 2009 · #
I like you. I like what you do here.
— HEATH · Friday June 18, 2010 · #
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